From bizarre comics to the deepest, darkest selection from Dumbledore’s banned books, the wizarding world has so much more to offer than just Gilderoy Lockhart’s questionable bibliography. Check out the most intriguing repertoire of books that we’d love to peruse…
‘I’m never stocking them again, never! It’s been bedlam! I thought we’d seen the worst when we bought two hundred copies of The Invisible Book of Invisibility – cost a fortune, and we never found them…’
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Ah. The Emperor’s New Clothes of books. Did the poor guy in Flourish and Blotts ever find this order? And what, exactly, was the purpose of buying yourself an invisible book? Was it simply a novelty present for the wizard equivalent of a Christmas stocking gift? If you ask us, this one sounds an awful lot like one of Mundungus Fletcher’s more ingenious cons.
Why was Martin Miggs mad? Indeed, why he was so mad that he got the attention young witches and wizards everywhere, despite being a Muggle? All we know about Mr Miggs, aside from his lack of magic, is that Ron had a huge pile of comics about his adventures. We need to know more!
The book (called Most Macabre Monstrosities in the Harry Potter films) used by Hermione to discover that a Basilisk was attacking students gives the impression of being an older, more terrifying version of the old, reliable Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The very old library book – that certainly was no longer on the Care for Magical Creatures syllabus – helped the gang save the day when they were only 12. We wouldn’t mind reading about the more macabre selection of monsters that the wizarding world has to offer…
Hermione’s hand was clamped so tightly around the paper that Harry was sure he was going to tear it. While Ron kept watch he tugged and twisted and at last, after several tense minutes, the paper came free. It was a page torn from a very old library book.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Do we even want to know about the sort of people who checked this one out of the library? Even Hagrid stuck with a simple textbook when it came to hatching young Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback, and we thought his adoration of the ‘misunderstood creatures’ was borderline worrying! That being said, this text is guaranteed to be full of brilliant anecdotes. For instance, we’d love to know more about men determined to domesticate the Hungarian Horntail. Good luck to them (and, possibly, their remaining limbs).
Vampires are only very briefly touched upon in the Harry Potter series, and only appeared when Harry met the author of the vampire study, Eldred Worple, at Slughorn’s Christmas party. He also met the mysterious Sanguini, who went after a group of girls with a ‘hungry look’ in his eyes, before Eldred quickly distracted him with a pasty. We feel like this book would certainly help us fill in some of the blanks from this interaction. For example, what would have happened should Sanguini have managed to slip away without Eldred noticing? And are vampires in the wizarding world particularly prone to a pasty?
A book, not to be confused with The Hairy Heart: A Guide to Wizards Who Won’t Commit, all about how werewolves shouldn’t be treated any differently just because they transform once a month. Not only would this be a fascinating read that Snape definitely should have checked out before exposing Lupin, it also comes highly recommended by Albus Dumbledore in The Tales of Beedle the Bard.
Ah, the ever-so-charming book that will convince you that you are going to die in days. What we’d do to get our hands on this one (or not). The text, which we’re convinced that Sybill Trelawney repeatedly bookmarked, even had Harry Potter questioning himself after spotting a large black dog on the cover which he had seen a week earlier.
‘Oh, I wouldn’t read that if I were you,’ said the assistant lightly, looking to see what Harry was staring at. ‘You’ll start seeing death omens everywhere, it’s enough to frighten anyone to death.’
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
A book that wails when it is slammed shut is most certainly worth a discussion. What horror did this text contain that its pages would literally scream when closed? The darkest book in Hogwarts’ library might have only briefly mentioned Horcruxes, but we’re sure there are plenty of other terrifying titbits in there about the Dark Arts that any Death Eater would love to get their hands on…