Forget about which team won the Quidditch House Cup, some of the finest Quidditch match moments belonged to the commentators. Here’s our top ten…

When Lee Jordan couldn’t keep his Gryffindor loyalty under control

‘So – after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating –’

‘Jordan!’ growled Professor McGonagall.

‘I mean, after that open and revolting foul –’ ‘Jordan, I’m warning you –’

‘All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I’m sure’.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

When Luna Lovegood wasn’t too fussed about remembering the players’ names

‘… but now that big Hufflepuff player’s got the Quaffle from her, I can’t remember his name, it’s something like Bibble – no, Buggins –’

‘It’s Cadwallader!’ said Professor McGonagall loudly from beside Luna.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

When Malfoy fouled Harry and Professor McGonagall forgot all about Lee Jordan’s bias

Professor McGonagall didn’t even bother to tell him off. She was actually shaking her fist in Malfoy’s direction; her hat had fallen off, and she, too, was shouting furiously.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

When Ginny Weasley deliberately flew into biased commentator Zacharias Smith

‘Forgot to brake, Professor, sorry.’

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

When Lee Jordan spoke mostly in capital letters

‘YOU CHEATING SCUM!’ Lee Jordan was howling into the megaphone, dancing out of Professor McGonagall’s reach. ‘YOU FILTHY, CHEATING B–’

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

When Luna Lovegood had a deep and meaningful chat with the whole Quidditch crowd

‘Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he’s playing them – oh, look, he’s lost the Quaffle, Ginny took it from him, I do like her, she’s very nice …’

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

When Ludo Bagman noticed the referee at the Quidditch World Cup having Veela issues

‘Now, we can’t have that!’ said Ludo Bagman, though he sounded highly amused. ‘Somebody slap the referee!’

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

When Lee Jordan appeared to be sponsored by the Firebolt

‘The Firebolt’s precision-balance is really noticeable in these long –’


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

When Professor McGonagall just couldn’t take it anymore

‘Seventy–forty to Hufflepuff!' barked Professor McGonagall into Luna’s megaphone.

‘Is it, already?’ said Luna vaguely.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

When Lee Jordan bemoaned the state of his love life

‘And it’s Johnson – Johnson with the Quaffle, what a player that girl is, I’ve been saying it for years but she still won’t go out with me –’

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix