Published on Jun 8th 2022
From carpets to pigeons with a dash of bread (trust us, it will make sense), the eighth story was full of amusing moments. We have a look at some of our favourites…

The time Scorpius tried to pay Rose a compliment

Scorpius clearly had a soft spot for Rose Granger-Weasley – but he was truly terrible at approaching her. Out of all the things he could have said when trying to pay her a compliment, he compared her to bread – just what everybody dreams of hearing. Luckily for us though, it gave us a Scorpius moment that was awkward, endearing and also funny.

Scorpius
Albus! Oh hello Rose, what do you smell of?

Rose
What do I smell of?

Scorpius
No, I meant it as a nice thing. You smell like a mixture of fresh flowers and fresh – bread.

Rose
Albus, I’m here, okay? If you need me.

Scorpius
I mean, nice bread, good bread, bread . . . what’s wrong with bread?

Rose walks away, shaking her head.

Rose
What’s wrong with bread!
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Scorpius Malfoy is sat on his bed in his pyjamas. He has his duvet wrapped round him and is pulling a funny face.

McGonagall’s chimney

We reckon Professor McGonagall wished she didn’t have a fireplace in her office. The number of times her poor carpet had dust and soot trampled into it by old students was enough to make anyone wince. However, we enjoyed her witty responses to the situation and were thoroughly amused by the sorry saga of McGonagall’s office carpet…

Draco
Sorry about your floor, Minerva.

Professor McGonagall
I dare say it’s my fault for owning a chimney.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

That wasn’t the only funny carpet related moment (could the poor thing ever get a break!) …

There’s a rattling.
The whole stage seems to vibrate.
Ginny is the first through the fireplace, and then Harry.

Ginny
Professor, I can’t say that ever gets more dignified.

Professor McGonagall
Potter. You’re back. And you seem to have finally ruined my carpet.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Snape’s preferred alternative to being married to Ron

It could have made for a very sad and serious moment when Snape realised he had died in an alternate timeline. Instead, he took it surprisingly well. He even managed to bring some humour to the situation – at poor Ron’s expense of course…

Snape
I’m dead, presumably.

He looks at Scorpius. Scorpius’s face drops, Snape smiles thinly.

You were a little too surprised to see me. How?

Scorpius
Bravely.

Snape
Who?

Scorpius
Voldemort.

Snape
How very irritating.

There’s a silence as Snape digests this.

Still, there’s glory in being taken down by the Dark Lord himself, I suppose.

Hermione
I’m sorry, Severus.

Snape looks at her, and then swallows the pain. He indicates Ron with a flick of his head.

Snape
Well, at least I’m not married to him.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Ron and Hermione, from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

When Ron and Hermione decided to renew their vows

In typical Ron and Hermione style, their romantic decision to renew their vows was also pretty amusing. This pair were the masters of bickering banter, so it only made sense that this important moment was steeped in their trademark style of communication. It also made us giggle – always a bonus.

Ron
Shut up. Will you shut up for once? I want to do one of those marriage renewal things I’ve read about. Marriage renewal. What do you think?

Hermione (melting slightly)
You want to marry me again?

Ron
Well, we were only young when we did it the first time and I got very drunk and – well, to be honest, I can’t remember much of it and ... the truth is – I love you Hermione Granger – and whatever time says – I’d like the opportunity to say so in front of lots of other people. Again. Sober.

She looks at him, she smiles, she pulls him to her, she kisses him.

Hermione
You’re sweet.

Ron
And you taste of toffee.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

When we discovered Harry’s secret fear

The great Harry Potter, vanquisher of Voldemort, courageous Gryffindor, the boy who was willing to give up his life to save the wizarding world was… afraid of pigeons? Well, we didn’t see that coming. Not to make light of his secret fear, but it is rather funny…

Harry
You told me you don’t think I’m scared of anything, and that – I mean, I’m scared of everything. I mean, I’m afraid of the dark, did you know that?

Albus
Harry Potter is afraid of the dark?

Harry
I don’t like small spaces and – I’ve never told anyone this but I don’t much like – (he hesitates before saying this) pigeons.

Albus
You don’t like pigeons?

Harry (he scrunches up his face)
Nasty, pecky, dirty things. They give me the creeps.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Harry with Albus on bed original cast - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

And Draco’s love of a good farmers’ market…

We don’t know why this moment tickles us so much – but it always does. The idea of the surly, sneering Draco Malfoy of the past growing up and appreciating fresh produce is just plain funny. We reckon his younger self would find it all very cringeworthy and uncool!

Hermione
Godric’s Hollow. It must be twenty years...

Ginny
Is it just me or are there more Muggles about?

Hermione
It’s become quite popular as a weekend break.

Draco
I can see why – look at the thatched roofs. And is that a farmers’ market?
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Draco all stand around the floating Time-Turner with their arms reached out towards it.

Did we mention your favourite funny moment? Or was there something else that made you giggle? To refresh your memory and for more info, quizzes, behind-the-scenes facts and features about Cursed Child, why not visit our hub?


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