In last place we have, regrettably, Percy Weasley. And if you can’t fathom why we have placed him bottom of this list, let us refresh your memory. Percy had no trouble trampling his family to climb the career ladder. He chose the Ministry and the lies they peddled over his family causing them (especially his mum) great pain. We’re also still salty about him deducting house points from Ron – who does that to their brother? Our biggest reason though? His pomposity. Yeah, we have to say it, Percy Weasley was on a high horse for the majority of the book series. Even if he was just assessing cauldron bottoms, he did it with the energy of a man who was on the cusp of becoming Minister for Magic. However, before any hardcore Percy fans become totally incandescent with rage over our decision, we do have caveats. Firstly, Percy did return to his family and admit his mistakes which can’t have been easy (especially with Fred and George around to give him stick). Secondly, he was still a Weasley in his soul – and even cracked a joke once or twice. But somebody had to be bottom of the list… sorry folks.
Next, we have the second-eldest sibling, Charlie. Now, the only reason we have put him so close to the bottom is that we don’t really know much about him. As he worked abroad, he felt like the most absent (aside from Percy’s estrangement) member of the family. Yet, what we do know about him is very cool. Or, given the circumstances, should that be the opposite of cool? One word, dragons. Yep, Charlie’s life revolved around taking care of these fiery creatures in Romania. And that alone is enough to make sure he is not at the bottom of this list. Oh, there’s also his involvement with the Order of the Phoenix, fighting the Battle of Hogwarts, being Gryffindor’s Quidditch Captain back in his day and so on… but did we mention? Dragons!!!
The eldest Weasley sibling was the epitome of cool older brother with his ponytail, fang earring and his rockstar fashion choices. And while Mrs Weasley was constantly horrified by his look (‘what do they say at the bank?!’) his laissez-faire style caught the attention of his future wife, Fleur Delacour. If that wasn’t enough to convince you that he was the bee’s knees, did you know that he worked as a curse-breaker for Gringotts? Deep in the pyramids of Egypt, no less, which is far more exciting than assessing cauldron bottom safety (again, with apologies to Percy). He was also smart, Head Boy at Hogwarts and fought in the war against Voldemort. So why is he in the middle of our list? Well, do you not think that maybe he was a little too perfect? It would probably be quite intimidating (and irritating) to be around someone who was always brilliant at everything they did. Petty of us? Maybe. Are we above such pettiness? Clearly not. And again, sadly, we just don’t know as much about Bill as we’d like to – just that his reputation seems to precede him. As such, we think a middle spot works well.
Ok, ok, we know that twins are probably fed up with always being lumped together as one entity… but heed our words. It’s hard enough ranking one of the most beloved wizarding families as it is. Having to decide whether Gred is better than Forge — sorry, if Fred is better than George — is giving us a stress headache. As a pair, these two were hilarious pranksters with hearts of gold (Argus Filch would have different notes). They might have consistently caused complete chaos, but they brought a lot of laughter and happiness too – especially with Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. They weren’t just jokesters either – there was kindness to some of their mischievous deeds, such as passing on a downtrodden Harry the Marauder’s Map when he really needed it. Why aren’t they right at the top of our list then? Because as fun as they are, you would constantly be on red alert in their company. Imagine having to analyse every biscuit you dunked in your tea just in case you suddenly turned into a canary. Exhausting.
Fierce, talented and smart – it’s no wonder Harry Potter fell head-over-heels for Ginny Weasley (once she could speak to him without blushing, of course). On its own, her skill with the Bat-Bogey Hex is enough to secure her a spot high up on our list. That’s before we even mention the breaking into the Weasley broom shed to practice Quidditch. Or her sass – especially when it came to a certain rumoured tattoo of Harry’s. Or her bravery – let’s not forget she managed to overcome being possessed by Voldemort at a young age. Once she had found her voice Ginny was unstoppable. She said it best herself: ‘you start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve’. That’s an excellent philosophy to live by and the reason we think she deserves second place. Which means…
In first place, it has to be our maroon-wearing, corned-beef sandwich eating, slug-vomiting Ron. We don’t even think you need us to explain why, but we will anyway because it’s fun. So, Ron Weasley helped save the wizarding world and willingly risked his life to defeat Voldemort – love that. He was with Harry from the very start to the very end – aside from one or two wobbles we won’t hold against him (and Hermione already told him off for us.). He would readily stand up for his friends (nobody was allowed to call Hermione a know-it-all except him!) and sometimes, he was the hero of the story – take his iconic role in the Philosopher’s Stone chess match. He was also a character that went through a lot of personal growth – from the insecure boy on the Hogwarts Express with his corned beef sandwiches to the young man who got over his insecurities to destroy a Horcrux. And outside of all of that – this is the person who once uttered the phrase: ‘Merlin’s most-baggy Y-fronts’. Case closed.
What do you think? Do you agree with our order, or do you think we have got it terribly wrong? Let us know! Want more rankings? See what you think of our definitive order of the four Marauders.