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Written byThe Wizarding World Team
Published on Oct 29th 2019
Let's go back to basics: Hallowe'en is a time for slime, gunge and all things unpleasant. Sometimes, in the Wizarding World, things aren't always so dark and scary - they're just a bit disgusting. And in this article, we’ve decided to celebrate the revolting, complete with our very own Scourgify Scale.

In honour of Hallowe’en treats, the Scourgify Scale has three levels based on the Skiving Snackboxes created by the masters of mayhem, Fred and George Weasley:

  • Fainting Fancy for the lowest level of yuck
  • Nosebleed Nougat for Flesh-Eating Slug levels of repellent
  • Puking Pastille for the pass me the slug-bucket moments.

Slug vomit

Scourgify Scale – Puking Pastille

'The Gryffindors were gathered around Ron, who kept belching large, glistening slugs. Nobody seemed to want to touch him.’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

And who’d blame them? Nothing says Hallowe’en horror more than slug slime mixed with Ron Weasley’s vomit, right? Poor Ron was only trying to curse Draco Malfoy for calling Hermione a Mudblood. If only the spell hadn’t backfired... we would have enjoyed Malfoy vomiting slugs over the cups in the trophy room far more than watching Ron suffer.

Bubotuber pus

Scourgify Scale – Nosebleed Nougat

On to greenhouse three with Professor Sprout and ‘the ugliest plants Harry had ever seen’. Although apparently Bubotubers look ‘less like plants than thick black giant slugs protruding vertically out of the soil’ – delightful. But in our assessment of all things vomit-worthy, we’re more interested in the Bubotuber pus that the plants themselves. Not unlike the pimples that the plant goo is a remedy for, Harry and his classmates had to squeeze a ‘thick yellowish green liquid’ from the slug-like swellings on the plant and collect it in bottles. It might have been higher on our Scourgify Scale if squeezing the plants didn’t sound quite so satisfying.

Harry’s boneless arm

Scourgify Scale – Fainting Fancy

Do you remember when all Harry had to worry about was his teacher removing the bones in his arm? Those were the days, eh? It makes our own arms feel tingly just thinking about how Harry's was described as a ‘thick, flesh-coloured rubber glove’. Apart from a boneless arm sounding more like a grotesque Hallowe’en costume idea than a Quidditch injury, Madam Pomfrey also had to give Harry Skele-Gro to regrow the bones. And we don’t think it tasted like pumpkin juice.

Stinksap

Scourgify Scale – Nosebleed Nougat

Neville’s Mimbulus mimbletonia caused an almighty scene on the Hogwarts Express. The little grey cactus might have looked fairly harmless – even though it was covered in boils –but it seriously damaged Harry’s chances with Cho Chang when Neville activated its defence mechanism.

‘Liquid squirted from every boil on the plant; thick, stinking, dark green jets of it.’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry received a faceful of the disgusting Stinksap – it even got in his mouth –just as the Ravenclaw heart-throb opened the door of the carriage compartment to say hello. Don’t worry, Harry, it could have been worse. Wait... could it?

Deathday Party food

Scourgify Scale – Fainting Fancy

When we say party food, perhaps your mind fills with images of cocktail sausages on sticks, party rings, homemade chocolate bunsand a beautifully iced birthday cake? Hold your Hippogriffs: there ain’t no party like a Deathday Party. The food at Sir Nicholas de Mimsy - Porpington’s 500th death anniversary most definitely makes it onto this nauseating list. Delights included cakes burned charcoal black, a great maggoty haggis, mouldy cheese and a grey cake shaped like a tombstone. Not much of a spread, but then Nearly Headless Nick did have his head – almost – chopped off on Hallowe’en.

Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavour Beans

Scourgify Scale – Nosebleed Nougat

When it comes to Wizarding World confectionary, there are quite a few unpleasant choices. Blood-flavoured lollipops meant for vampires, Cockroach Clusters and Puking Pastilles. So why choose Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavour Beans? Let’s just think about them for a second. Every flavour. That’s every flavour. There’s no way raspberry or lemon would make it onto this unpleasant list, but just think about the flavours Dumbledore shared with us: a vomit-flavoured bean in his youth; earwax in Harry’s first year. What other flavours could be out there? We shudder to think. Like Dumbledore, we think we’ve lost our liking for them, too.

Troll bogeys

Scourgify Scale – Puking Pastille

A twelve-foot mountain troll could probably make it onto this list without the bogeys. But we are all about the revolting this Hallowe’en, and how do you make an encounter with a stinking, club-wielding giant worse? You shove a brown stick up its nostrils and then get covered in lumpy, grey troll bogeys, of course! At least Harry had the sense to wipe his wand on the troll’s own trousers rather than his robes – although not quite enough sense not to hang from the troll’s neck in the first place.

Polyjuice Potion

Scourgify Scale – Nosebleed Nougat

We’re not saying Polyjuice Potion isn’t useful – it helped Harry, Ron and Hermione on their way to solving many a mystery. But despite its ability to change you into someone else for a while, drinking the potion itself sounds less tempting than swigging Skele-Gro. The basic ingredients alone make us want to retch: Lacewing flies, leeches, Boomslang skin, powdered horn of a Bicorn just to name a few. Who’d want to swallow any of those ingredients on their own? Let alone after they’ve all been mixed together in a cauldron and left to stew for a month. But that isn’t the worst part of Polyjuice Potion – it also requires a bit of whoever you want to change into. Hermione settles on hair rather than toenails but still... pretty disgusting all round.

Brains from the Department of Mysteries

Scourgify Scale – Puking Pastille

‘Glimmering eerily, they drifted in and out of sight in the depths of the green liquid, looking something like slimy cauliflowers.’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Creepy and revolting, just the sight of the green tank displaying lazily drifting brains has to be very high up on our Scourgify scale. Add to this the fact the brains have tentacles (giant squid – you’ve got competition), and when Ron summons one it tries to suffocate him... we think the brains are a nasty Hallowe’en surprise we could definitely live without.

Happy Hurl-owe’en!


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