Sign everything

Photos, inanimate objects, books (even books you haven’t written), literally any piece of paper – whatever it may be, make sure your autograph is seen far and wide. Gilderoy Lockhart was always up for helping to increase the value of something with his well-perfected signature, even if it was a 12-year old girl asking for signed permission to get into the Hogwarts Restricted Section. He didn’t care! An autograph was still an autograph, right? And wise Lockhart started this hobby young. As a Hogwarts student, the wizard once excelled himself by signing his signature in twenty-foot long letters across the school’s Quidditch pitch. Did it get him noticed? Yes. Did he get detention? Also yes.

Dream big

When Lockhart was at school, he had aspirations of making his own Philosopher’s Stone, becoming Britain’s youngest Minister for Magic, and captaining England’s Quidditch team, to name a few. Of course, he did not do any of these things. But the point is, he went on and on about it until people couldn’t help but remember who he was. And what’s the next best thing to achieving your dreams? Talking about your dreams for inordinate periods of time until people get sick of the sight of you!

Keep up appearances

In general, people tend to be more successful if they simply turn up to things. Gilderoy Lockhart knew this better than anyone, even taking up a job at Hogwarts to expand his profile despite having next-to-no Defence Against the Dark Arts abilities. You may have nothing to offer the world, but being present might just earn you a photo-spot in the Daily Prophet – even if you’re only in the background. After all, you’ve got to...

Fake it until you make it

If you’re not famous or talented... just tell people you are, and wait for that to become fact. This is how Lockhart went about things, gallantly lying about his adventures with trolls, yetis and ghouls to make a quick Galleon, eventually becoming ridiculously famous. Worried about authenticity? Never fear. Steal your fictional escapades from people who actually did go on these adventures; write a book in the first person; put your name on it, and repeat. Next thing you know, you’ve got yourself an Order of Merlin, Third Class that will absolutely never get found out, definitely.

Make friends with other famous people

Nothing increases star-power like standing in front of another celebrity. Or – Merlin forbid –actually becoming ‘friends’ with them. Just make sure to get your photo taken with them.

When it came to mingling, Lockhart once again set the example: traumatising a young Harry Potter innocently trying to buy school books by dragging him into a photo opportunity, so the pair would make the front page of the Daily Prophet. It worked a treat, despite Harry trying to fight his way out of the frame. Still, good to have friends in high places... even if they’re in high places just to get away from you.

Obliviate anyone who tries to blow your cover

You’ve taken the fast road to fame. Thankfully, there’s a wonderful Memory Charm to cover your tracks! Just don’t use a broken wand stolen from a second-year student, because that doesn’t tend to end well. Alternatively, you could do none of these things and live a wholesome and meaningful existence.

Totally up to you.