So, when compiling a list of his greatest talents, there really is no choice but to use his own words. Here they are – Gilderoy Lockhart’s greatest talents, according to Gilderoy Lockhart.
He was a generous teacher
And he was not afraid to grab hold of reluctant celebrities like Harry Potter, even when they were innocently trying to buy schoolbooks:
‘When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography – which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge’ – the crowd applauded again ‘ – he had no idea,’ Lockhart continued, giving Harry a little shake that made his glasses slip to the end of his nose, ‘that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolfellows will, in fact, be getting the real, magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that, this September, I will be taking up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He knew everything about gardening
And he wasn’t exactly modest or tactful about it:
‘Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don’t want you running away with the idea that I’m better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels …’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
His teeth gleamed for a reason
And he was only so happy to tell anyone who’d listen, as long as they knew how brave he was, too:
‘Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and five times winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award – but I don’t talk about that. I didn’t get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
His deep understanding of the fickleness of fame
And his willingness to advise the slightly less famous than he:
‘Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn’t sensible – looks a tad bigheaded, Harry, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you’ll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but –’ he gave a little chortle, ‘I don’t think you’re quite there yet.’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He had a backup business plan
And would market it to bright young witches with voluminous manes of hair:
‘… but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions – good girl!’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He knew a curse for every occasion
And he was the only one who did:
‘It was definitely a curse that killed her – probably the Transmogrifian Torture. I’ve seen it used many times, so unlucky I wasn’t there, I know the very counter-curse that would have saved her …’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Gilderoy ‘got’ potions
And he was about as subtle as a troll with an axe about it:
‘I’ll make it,’ Lockhart butted in. ‘I must have done it a hundred times, I could whip up a Mandrake Restorative Draught in my sleep –’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He could play Quidditch
And he considered a part-time coaching gig because he was so generous:
‘I was a Seeker, too. I was asked to try for the National Squad, but preferred to dedicate my life to the eradication of the Dark Forces. Still, if ever you feel the need for a little private training, don’t hesitate to ask. Always happy to pass on my expertise to less able players …’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He was dangerously good at duelling
And he’d like everyone to know about it:
‘Let me introduce my assistant Professor Snape,’ said Lockhart, flashing a wide smile. ‘He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about duelling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don’t want any of you youngsters to worry – you’ll still have your Potions master when I’m through with him, never fear!’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He could defeat anything
And that included dealing with that whole Chamber of Secrets thing himself (ahem):
‘I don’t think there’ll be any more trouble, Minerva,’ he said, tapping his nose knowingly and winking. ‘I think the Chamber has been locked for good this time. The culprit must have known it was only a matter of time before I caught them. Rather sensible to stop now, before I came down hard on them.’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He knew everybody loved him
And he loved them right back:
‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ Lockhart shouted. ‘And may I thank the forty-six people who have so far sent me cards!’
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
He was committed to signing his name
And he was very good at handwriting:
‘I’m very well indeed, thank you!’ said Lockhart exuberantly, pulling a rather battered peacock feather quill from his pocket. ‘Now, how many autographs would you like? I can do joined up writing now, you know!’
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix