Love is hard. If it wasn’t bad enough analysing mixed messages from the one you fancy all the live-long day, imagine falling for someone who can spontaneously disappear, fly away, or transform into a rocking horse at a moment’s notice. Now, what kind of messages are those supposed to send out?
Yes, romancing a wizard or witch definitely sounds like a learning curve. So here are some handy tips if you really could fall in love with someone of the wizarding variety.
This may seem like an obvious point to make, but it bears repeating. After all, if you’re wooing a witch or wizard: all standard rules are off the table.
Dating a magical person has its perks (bowls of ice-cream can now magically re-fill themselves, people) but it also has its foibles. After all, if you find yourselves in a lovers’ tiff and your date has a spectacularly short fuse, you may wake up as a victim of an ear-shrivelling curse. Best to establish some boundaries before you get serious. And invest in some ear-muffs.
It’s always an educational experience visiting your new squeeze’s home for the first time. ‘What if they’re untidy?’ ‘What if they have a loathsome housemate?’ ‘What if their coffee table is bewitched and starts tap-dancing and totally ruins the moment?’ you may ponder. Yes, you’d best start asking the bigger questions if you’re taking your relationship with a wizard to the next level. You’ll get used to it all eventually, of course. For example, you’ll soon learn not to casually peruse their bookshelves in case you open the book that won’t stop screaming.
It works the other way round, too. Expect gaping jaws when your sweetheart visits your pad for the first time. After all, things like televisions and radiators and cheese graters will likely completely perplex a wizard who hasn’t been paying attention to Muggle Studies, and it might be a good idea to start labelling things. Wizards may be almighty powerful, but how almighty powerful will they be if they try to drink your grout-cleaner?
All couples have their differences, but Muggles and wizards have different governments, sports, activities and even music. Celestina Warbeck’s greatest hits, anyone? Getting to grips with all of this may take some time, but it’s always important to embrace the cultures of your loved one, even if those cultures involve learning the rules of some sort of abstract version of netball played on broomsticks.
It may all be fun and games and Chocolate Frogs in the beginning, but inter-magical relationships are often fraught with prejudice and judgement. Although most witches and wizards are understanding of Muggles these days, you’ll definitely get the odd ignorant wizarding relative who favours the more ‘Pure-blood’ types saying something awkward to you at a family get-together.
Thankfully, a lot of wizards are very progressive, and love tends to conquer all. And you don’t need a spell to sort that out (of course, wizards have love potions, but we don’t need to go down that road).
You thought dial-up internet and fax machines were outdated? Well, get ready to go really old-school, because your significant magical other is mostly going to communicate via owls, quills and parchment.
A cool, hip, finger-on-the-pulse Muggle such as yourself might be initially confused that their partner doesn’t use telephones or subtle social media likes to express their love, but considering witches and wizards can fly, conjure water from thin air and even transform into animals, perhaps you can let this one slide and embrace their unconventional tastes.
One thing that Muggles and wizards do have in common, however, is love. Okay, so one might be able to transfigure hedgehogs into pin cushions, whereas the other may only be able to perfect a simple card trick, but nevertheless, love, respect and understanding will always prevail above magic.
After all, every couple has their differences – your magical loved one just has… a lot of them. But broomsticks and wands and tap-dancing coffee tables aside, how you feel is all that really matters. A loved-up Muggle and wizard must always remember this.