By about halfway through the Harry Potter books, it became more and more obvious that Ron and Hermione were simply meant to be. But instead of going on a date, they waited right until the very end of Deathly Hallows for a snog, much to our despair and anguish and bleeding hearts.
Over the years we loved picking up on all the mini-moments of chemistry between the pair – but there were also so many frustrating moments that made us want to rip our books to pieces. (Just kidding, our Harry Potter collections are sacred.)
From about Order of the Phoenix onwards, we were sure Ron and Hermione were going to get together at least at some point during the final three books. We blame this delay entirely on Ron’s terrible, terrible romantic skills. Oh, and Lord Voldemort.
Alright, so everybody was 12 years old here. And Hermione’s schoolgirl crush on the incompetent Professor Lockhart turned out to be ill-founded. But this was actually the first of many times Ron teased her about boys instead of stepping up with a bouquet of flowers. Jealousy will get you nowhere, Ron. Lying about gadding with ghouls, on the other hand…
‘What’ve we got this afternoon?’ said Harry, hastily changing the subject.
‘Defence Against the Dark Arts,’ said Hermione at once.
‘Why,’ demanded Ron, seizing her timetable, ‘have you outlined all Lockhart’s lessons in little hearts?’
Hermione snatched the timetable back, flushing furiously.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
We can understand that a mate’s pet eating your pet is going to cause a bit of friction in the friendship, but we’re still beyond enraged at how Ron dealt with all this business in Prisoner of Azkaban.
Let’s break it down to why Ron was really annoyed at Hermione: there was a new ginger in her life.
By the time we reached the Yule Ball in Harry’s fourth year, the trio were now old enough to have inevitably disappointing unrequited crushes, such as Harry’s newfound infatuation for Cho Chang and Ron’s newfound hobby of gawping at Fleur Delacour with an unhinged jaw.
At least Harry went the whole hog and asked Cho out (the Boy-Who-Lived-through-an-incredibly-awkward-setback!), while Ron’s attempt to take Hermione as his date went spectacularly wrong, due to a belated grasp of biology. ‘Hey, Hermione, you’re a girl…’
When Hermione rocked up to the Yule Ball looking like an absolute queen with international Quidditch success Viktor Krum by her side, suffice to say, Ron didn’t accept the blossoming friendship with open arms. Instead he had a massive row with her, accused her of going against Harry, and ignored his own date in the process. Ron, you DREAM BOAT, you.
‘What’s up with you?’ she said.
‘If you don’t know,’ said Ron scathingly, ‘I’m not going to tell you.’
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
An entire year later, Ron had still not got over Krumgate, and his reaction to discovering the pair still wrote to each other was just classic Ron.
Ron, please stop.
Things seemed to be going swimmingly between Hermione and Ron in their sixth year… or at least the pair were on civil levels. Not for long, though.
When Ginny let slip that Hermione and Krum once – heaven forbid! – shared a snog, all affability immediately went out of the window. Ever the smooth operator, Ron started behaving coldly towards Hermione, fell into a Quidditch funk and snogged Lavender slap-bang in the middle of the Gryffindor common room as the icing on the cake. Let us remind you, this Victor Krum snog was probably two years ago.
To be fair to Ron, at least he was taking steps to actually try to get on better with the ladies. But when you’re relying on a wizarding dating manual that’s ‘not all about wandwork’, you’ve probably still got a way to go.
‘This isn’t your average book,’ said Ron. ‘It’s pure gold: Twelve Fail-Safe Ways To Charm Witches. Explains everything you need to know about girls. If only I’d had this last year I’d have known exactly how to get rid of Lavender and I would’ve known how to get going with… Well, Fred and George gave me a copy, and I’ve learned a lot. You’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either.’
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
In Deathly Hallows, Ron’s time wearing the Horcrux-ridden Slytherin locket brought out a very dark side in him. And yes, it must be hard to be suave when a sentient object around your neck is filling your head with intense insecurities. Nonetheless, when Ron abandoned his mission with Harry and Hermione, we couldn’t help but put our head in our hands. Really, Ron?
Also, we’re pretty sure that leaving your best friend in a time of mortal peril and asking the girl you like to choose between them is not in Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches.
Eventually, though, Ron grew up big time during the Battle of Hogwarts, and did something truly unexpected that caught Hermione’s eye: he showed compassion for house-elves!
‘Hang on a moment!’ said Ron sharply. ‘We’ve forgotten someone!’
‘Who?’ asked Hermione.
‘The house-elves, they’ll all be down in the kitchen, won’t they?’
‘You mean we ought to get them fighting?’ asked Harry.
‘No,’ said Ron seriously, ‘I mean we should tell them to get out. We don’t want any more Dobbys, do we? We can’t order them to die for us –’
There was a clatter as the Basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
When Harry’s two best friends finally locked lips after years of bickering, it seemed like Ron had finally learnt to put his jealousy demons aside and stood up for something Hermione really cared about. As a young teenager, Ron would mock Hermione for S.P.E.W., but in his final Hogwarts hour, look how far the lad had come. And he didn’t need that bizarre book, either.