With Christmas long gone, and a never-ending supply of scrunched up wrapping paper successfully in the recycling, we still keep finding odd chocolate wrappers and glitter all over the place. January is meant to be a cleansing month – out with the old, in with the new and all that. But instead of doing the big pre-spring clean ourselves, the Scourgify spell (the cleaning charm, and one of Mrs Weasley’s staples) would be really, really helpful right about now. Please.
On this point, it would also be great if we could fix all of the buttons that have fallen off our clothes, sort out our broken glasses, and just a nice quick charm to fix all of the various other Muggle items in our household that didn’t survive our Christmas parties. Maybe we could cast it on ourselves and see what happens? Our brains aren’t really functioning at 100% this month.
Ever heard of January-brain? Where you’re just a little bit more forgetful than usual? Countless times this month we’ve already forgot our keys – we’re a little bit slower on the uptake than usual, probably still recovering from all those endless aforementioned festive parties. It’d be pretty great to have Alohomora (the door unlocking charm) to hand, just to help us...not get locked out of our house.
It’s cold, it’s grey, we need some blue fire in a jar. There’s only so many steaming mugs of tea we can possibly drink in one day.
It goes without saying, really. We’re tired, we’re sluggish, and we need some fast-laughter, stat. Harry and co. learn this particularly fun spell in their third year, and we want in. And it’s probably best if we learn the counter-charm for hiccoughs too, just in case.
January tends to be the time of year where we get our admin sorted out – paperwork, tax returns, all that kind of thing. Why do other humans insist on needing things from us? If only we could Confund them all so we can just avoid doing any sort of mundane task ever again.
January just feels noisier, it feels like. We all just want a bit of peace and quiet. Casting Muffliato would magically put us into a nice, little muffled bubble for a while – and we could also avoid all of those ‘I haven’t been to the gym ALL YEAR!’ jokes.
The nights draw in early, and we’re a bit gloomy about the distinct lack of sunshine. But it would appear that witches and wizards actually have the power to change the weather. Once, absent-mindedly, Ron makes the Great Hall’s enchanted ceiling snow, for example. The Ministry of Magic has also been known to have some trouble with raining offices. We’re not sure how much say the wizarding world has on changing the weather (because surely it would be a different weather-type every second, if this was the case?) but in confined spaces, it certainly seems possible. If we could have the sun shining directly over our heads, the extra bit of Vitamin D would be lovely, ta.
Commuting in January just feels that little bit extra difficult, doesn’t it? With the morning air slightly more brisk than usual, it’s just that little bit more tempting to stay in bed. Wouldn’t it be nice if...you could just make a deal with a very, very good friend to take your place, with the help of a drop of Polyjuice Potion? Just for a week or so while you enjoy some hot-water-bottle time? In fact, there's quite a few other potions that might make life a bit easier...
Failing this, one of Fred and George’s Skiving Snackboxes would also work. We’re open to all possibilities when it comes to staying in bed!
What spells would you like to use to survive the start of the year?