Sometimes people just don’t have time for things. Doing the washing up, signing up for that cookery class or finishing one of the most famous book series of all time. And, in a world where many people have, this can be tough.
Although you can’t be certain, you have a sneaking suspicion something bad happens to this person in the books. But for the life of you, you just can’t put your finger on what that might be. Every time you mention him/her, your friends look at you like someone died, which is funny because they were definitely alive last time you checked.
They seem to be a big part of the later books, but heaven knows what they are to you. You’re fairly certain they have something to do with Lord Voldemort. Something he eats, perhaps? Maybe they’re magical creatures that Voldemort keeps as pets to amuse Nagini? Some sort of collector’s item? It’s a tough one.
They sound a bit morbid. Probably not important, though, right?
Always what? Always talking constantly about Harry Potter? Always happy to discuss that time that massive Harry Potter plot twist happened that you know nothing about? Although your life is pretty busy right now, this one is ‘always’ bugging you.
Everyone in the entire world apart from you has finished these books and any chat that turns to Potter turns awkward pretty quickly. Don’t they know spoilers are a thing? So what if the last book has nearly been out ten years? It’s been a busy decade, people.
Your friends constantly tell you how amazing it was when ‘they’ got together, but how could that ever really have happened? They were awful/indifferent (delete as appropriate) to each other in the books you read and wouldn’t know how to flirt with a twig on the ground.
Maybe it’s an amazing coincidence, but every time you tell someone you never finished reading Harry Potter, people seem to look at you like you’ve just spat in their meal. This is a constant tradition. What’s the big deal? You read some of them. And it’s not like anybody dies. Wait, why are people throwing things now?
The eighth Harry Potter story is coming out this year. Maybe there’s still time to catch up before you get a first class ticket to Spoilerville. They were pretty good, now you come to think about it.