35 problems all Harry Potter fans will understand
Originally published on
Published on Mar 4th 2016
When you order pumpkin juice in a restaurant and everyone looks at you like you’re mad.
Feeling victimised because you have to lug suitcases and bags around every time you go on holiday instead of using an Undetectable
Losing interest in any sport that’s not
. There aren’t any brooms? That ball isn’t a Quaffle? What’s the point?!
Hesitating before you bite into a Custard Cream in case it turns you into a canary.
Noticing distinctive birthmarks or markings on strangers and spending way too much time wondering what kind of Animagus they are.
Placing your food order by announcing it to your empty plate and wondering why a delicious feast doesn’t appear.
Getting stuck on a late-running train and muttering to yourself how this wouldn’t happen if you could just Apparate instead.
and expecting it to stop and deliver your post.
’ every single time you turn on a light.
When all you want is a warming
– seriously, is that too much to ask?
Finding yourself in an inconsolable heap on the sofa after re-living your favourite character’s death, even though you’ve read the books hundreds of times and knew it was coming.
Making random hissing noises at snakes in the hope that your
has been lying dormant all these years and that one day, they’ll answer you back.
The abject horror of realising one of your friends hasn’t read the Harry Potter series, followed by a serious internal debate as to why you’re friends with them in the first place.
…Followed by indescribable jealousy because they have such a glorious journey of discovery ahead of them.
Experiencing the kind of rage that only sending a
will soothe. An angry text or sharply worded email just isn’t the same.
Visiting Leadenhall Market in London and spending the whole time being disappointed because it’s not
Expecting to see your deepest desires in every mirror you look into instead of your reflection.
Learning how to knit so you can recreate the socks that
made for Harry.
strangers and wondering if they’re wizards in disguise.
When you’re stuck outside on a freezing cold day, lamenting the fact you’re not
and can’t conjure up a lovely, warming blue fire in a jar.
’ confidently whenever you get locked out, only to discover that you’re still locked out because that’s a stick you’re holding, not a
Getting over-excited about going to a festival until you realise that you won’t be travelling to the campsite by
and your tent is actually that small.
When people catch you reading
Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone
and say ‘Haven’t you already
read that one
Binge-watching all of the films and giving yourself a headache from crying so much.
!’ at people in the middle of arguments.
Seeing a snowy owl and having to take a moment.
Studying the paintings and pictures in your house intently for any sign that the inhabitants have moved.
Holding a secret grudge against your postman because he’s not
Being asked to give a speech and finding the ‘Nitwit’, ‘blubber’ and ‘oddment’ don’t quite cut it.
Desperately wishing that ‘
’ was a legitimate career path. Now what am I supposed to do with my life?
Catching sight of a cat with ‘spectacles’ around its eyes and wondering…
When you wake up with a head full of Nargles and nobody else understands.
Missing the days when you spent hours debating whether Harry was the last
or not. Ah, good times.
Not having enough room on your bookshelves for all your different editions of the Harry Potter series.
When you start reading a book in another series and have to stop because it’s just not Harry Potter.
Originally published on
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