“The poor toilet”
Right from the very first book, a young Harry Potter was full of the cheek that had been a key trait of his father, James. And when it came to growing up with Dudley Dursley, Harry’s wit was the key weapon in his arsenal when it came to interacting with his cousin.
“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon”
Hermione and Ron had plenty of zingers that they threw at each other throughout the course of all the books. But this particular moment, as the trio discuss Harry’s budding relationship with Cho, gave Hermione the edge in this round.
“You asked us a question”
But Ron and Hermione weren’t always chiding each other – sometimes they were chiding others on their behalf. This moment with Severus Snape, after he had cruelly called Hermione a ‘insufferable know-it-all’, was enough to tip Ron over the edge – but he was making a very fair point!
"Ghosts are transparent"
Another day, another battle of the wits with Snape. After Harry tried to explain the differences between ghosts and Inferi, once again, Ron stepped in to give the Potions Master a schooling.
“It could catch the Snitch for you”
After years growing up with Dudley, Harry knew a thing or two about slinging a verbal comeback in the way of a bully. In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Malfoy spent the vast majority of the book mocking Harry for the way Dementors affected him. But during this exchange, where Draco enviably examines Harry’s new Firebolt, Harry was ready with a response so cutting it was more deadly than any Dementor.
“There’s no need to call me ‘sir’, Professor”
Perhaps the ultimate comeback in all of Harry Potter history: we still cannot believe Harry said this to Snape – the prime-giver of detentions and docker of many a house point! The audacity still shocks us to this very day.
A bit of bedtime reading
Another Hermione vs. Ron moment now – and this time, Ron got the upper hand. Although he was clearly not confident enough to say this one too loudly...
“Listening to the news again?”
When it came to the Dursleys, Harry often used his intelligence to get one over on his ignorant family. During a particularly frustrating summer in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry was in no mood to deal with Uncle Vernon’s chagrin while he tried to watch the news.
“A quick word”
Rita Skeeter quickly became a big nuisance in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, in a year where Harry was already under immense stress being forced into the position of Hogwarts Champion. After completing his first task in the Triwizard Tournament with aplomb, he was able to take on the nosy journalist extremely easily after just facing off a dragon.
“Tripe, Sybill?”
Not so much a comeback, but a moment of deadly subtlety from Professor McGonagall here. During the odd Christmas dinner in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the Transfiguration Professor was in no mood for Professor Trelawney’s paranoid behaviour – such as believing that if 13 people dined together, the first to rise, would be the first to die. Not one to suffer fools gladly, McGonagall settled with simply offering Trelawney some...
“I do not generally permit people to talk”
Have two McGonagall moments for the price of one. The reign of Professor Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was a joy for absolutely no one, but we did take great pleasure in seeing Professor McGonagall react to the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor on a number of occasions. During this moment, where Umbridge tasked herself with ‘sitting in’ on a number of Hogwarts lessons, it was only fair of McGonagall to treat Umbridge as one of her students. The results? Delicious.
"What are Fred and I?"
Fred and George were, obviously, the joint kings of the one-liners. But George’s reaction to his mum momentarily forgetting that not ‘everyone in the family’ became a prefect, particularly amused us.
“Voldemort in a mobile library”
We end on one final Ron vs. Hermione moment, because the future-couple really couldn’t resist jibing each other all throughout the whole series, could they?
But we have to hand it to Ron here – this wisecrack is one of our ultimate favourites, just for the mental image.
